Ashes essay

Rose McKay                                                                                                                             808

“…Dad used to promise me the stars for a necklace, but like most of his promises, that one never quite happened.” The short story “Ashes” by Susan Beth Pfeffer is about a girl named Ashleigh whose father tries to manipulate her into “borrowing” money from her mom. Her parents are divorced so this puts her in an uncomfortable situation. She has complicated feelings about her father. Sometimes it seems like Ashes is put into her dad’s role - the parent. This short story shows that love is complicated and you cannot always get the support you need from a parent.

            Firstly, Ashleigh has mixed feelings about her dad.  She loves him to death but knows that he is not always reliable and sometimes is careless. She loves him because he leads her to believe he is a kind and warm person. “’I saw a woman stranded on the road.’ he’d say, ‘So, I changed her tire for her.’”  Ashes’ dad has time to help people on the street, but he doesn’t always take care of his own daughter. This section of the story gives evidence of a kind, warm man, but on the inside, he might not be very together.  “…When dad forgot to pick me up at school, or didn’t have the money for a class trip…” This quote shows how unreliable and neglectful her father is. The reader could assume that Ashes feels embarrassed by her father’s actions.  Readers can feel close to Ashes because they can imagine what it would be like to have a parent who doesn't show up.

            Furthermore, Ashes’ dad manipulates her in many ways.  In the beginning of the story, Ashes’ dad says, “‘you look radiant…you get more and more beautiful. Turn around, let me admire every single inch.’  So I turned around.  I was wearing jeans and a bulky brown sweater mom gave me for Christmas.”  Here, in the story, I think Ashes is starting to know that her dad is not acting normally and something is wrong.  She knows that whenever he compliments her, he might not be telling the truth.  This hurts her but at the same time, she realizes that her dad does love her but he is not reliable. When they get into the diner the father says, “’you have flare, Ashes. Style.  You do something like that, you’re sure to make your mark.’  Last week he told me to be an astronaut.  The week before that, the CEO of a Fortune 500 Corporation.  And the week before that he’d been stunned by my spirituality.”  This quote shows that Ashes is aware and has been aware that her dad finds ways to try to make her feel good about herself.  At first the compliments made Ashes feel good but then the light dimmed and she started to realize that the compliments had no meaning.

            Lastly, parents are not always reliable or honest.  Sometimes they are so preoccupied, they don’t even see their own children. “’What is it?’ I asked him. ‘It’s nothing,’ he said.  ‘Oh, hell Ashes, you can always see right through me.’  He had been the one who had been looking right through me, but I didn’t say anything.”  He doesn’t “see” how his behavior affects Ashes at all. At this point in the story, Ashes knows that her dad owes someone money and neither of them know what they are going to do to him if he doesn’t pay it back. She is very worried for him. Should the daughter be worried about the parent or vice versa?  Earlier in the story, Ashes dad said that they should get diner food instead of pizza. He is trying to paint a pretty picture that everything is okay and that he has so much money and can do anything.  At the diner, Ashes asks her dad if he has the money to pay for dinner. All her dad gets is a coffee. Not ordering food is evidence that he has no money. She now realizes he is in trouble.

            In conclusion, the main point in this piece is, love is complicated.    I think the title of the book represents the disintegration of the family. Ashes is the nickname her dad gives her. Her mother hates the name because it represents cold, gray, dead things. I think her mom feels this way because she knows that the family is falling apart and it is almost dead. Another way of looking at the title is that it could represent what is left behind after a fire. A fire is a warm safe place. It is very comforting. A fire might represent the family and when the dad broke off and left, Ashes was all that was left behind. Her dad betrays her, confuses her, and manipulates her. He is a very careless parent. Ashes realizes that she needs someone stable in her life, which is her mom, but her dad is so much more fun to be around. You can’t always get the support you need from a parent. This is what Pfeffer is trying to show us.